Weigh in #14

3 04 2010

I really want to run today (I did run after this post). This damn rain is upsetting me. I’m up early on my day off to get out there and move. Instead I’m having to wait for the gym to open up (one hour to go) so that I can at least get a good swim in and some time on the elliptical.

Today is Saturday and if you’ve been around for a while then you know today is Official Weigh in Saturday or what I like to call: OWiS! Let’s get to the numbers.

That’s a -2.8 loss this week. A total of 33.5

I’m a extremely happy about this, though I’m still trying to recover from yesterday’s mind session. Today is going to be a great day because I’m going to go out and get moving and then just enjoy the rest of the day…my mind might have other plans for today but this is a “fake it till you make it” situation here.

Here are the numbers:

  • Week 0 = 263.5 (-0.0)
  • Week 1 = 257.4 (-6.1)
  • Week 2 = 255.0 (-2.4)
  • Week 3 = 254.6 (-.4)
  • Week 4 = 253.8 (-.8) *I started c25k
  • Week 5 = 248.2 (-5.6)
  • Week 6 = 247.2 (-1.0)
  • Week 7 = 246.2 (-1.0)
  • Week 8 = 244.4 (-1.8)
  • Week 9 = 241.0 (-3.4)
  • Week 10 = 240.6  (-.4)
  • Week 11 = 238.0 (-2.6)
  • Week 12 = 234.8 (-3.2)
  • Week 13 = 232.8 (-2.0)
  • Week 14 = 230.0 (-2.8) *graduated c25k
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    I wonder why…

    2 04 2010

    …Some days are harder to get through than others.

    …I still see a 263 pound person in the mirror.

    …I was so mad at myself for sleeping in until 7 this morning,  after working 15 hours yesterday.

    …I don’t ease up on myself.

    … I don’t pat myself on the back more.

    …I set myself up for failure before I even try.

    …Being better than everyone is more important to me than just being me.

    …I don’t see myself the way my husband sees me.

    …After the 30 pounds lost, c25k graduation and 3 months of hard work, I feel like I haven’t accomplished anything.

    …I would never allow a friend or family member to downplay what they’ve done and yet I allow myself to go down this road so often.

    So hard on myself. I know this is not the way I will feel tomorrow or maybe even later today once I get home and settle into my long awaited, much needed weekend. The snowball effect of my frustration at allowing myself to sleep in until 7am this morning has turned into a blizzard.

    Someone get me some snow shoes cause I can’t stay here for long….

    The official graduation / Superman / and blah blah blah.

    1 04 2010

    It’s official.

    I can now buy this beautiful shirt. I’ve worked nine long weeks to be able to say I can wear this shirt and know it to be true. I woke up early this morning with that “runner’s anticipation” in my stomach. That nervousness in the pit of your stomach that starts to wonder how far, how long and how in the world?

    For a fleeting moment I prayed for another downpour. It was only fleeting. I wanted to do this run. I wanted to get outside before sun rise, pop in my earphones and let Robert Ullrey lull me into what would be my final run of the c25k program.

    It was a little surreal, this run. Normally during my last run of the week, my mind wanders to what in store for me. For nine weeks I was focused on what coolrunnings thought I could do and would do. I constantly thought about whether or not I should repeat a week or just go and trust they knew what they were talking about.

    I went with the trust factor.

    They were right. Maybe not so much on the length portion. Today’s 30 minute run put me at about 2.25 miles, .85 miles short of 3.1. But they were right about the duration goal. If you had come to me nine weeks ago and said “Tara, you’re going to do this running program and in nine weeks you’re going to get up and run 2.25 miles without stopping“, I would have gaffawed at you. If I was drinking milk at the same time I would have accidentally spit it in your face at your unbelievable statement.

    Not so unbelievable anymore.

    This run, there was no thinking about what am I doing next week with coolrunnings. It was a little nerve wracking. Now what? You mean I have to do this on my own? Whose going to tell me when to run. Whose going to tell me when to stop?

    Then I realized it was going to be me. I have the freedom now to figure out what exactly this running thing means to me. No more worrying about whether or not I’m going to be able to do a certain duration. No more freaking out about what’s coming up the next week, or the week after that.

    Now I can just run.



    Yesterday was my first meeting with Kent the trainer. It was mostly just talking, getting to know one another. Actually it was more him crunching numbers to get my BMI, RHR and any other TLA he could find.

    Oh you don’t know what TLA means?

    Three Letter Acronym

    A little digression – There are companies out that have committees that sit around thinking of TLA, thinking it makes life easier than saying the words each time. Seriously!

    Wonder what my Superman looks like?

    Here’s his philosophy (thank goodness for copy and paste): “I have the training and experience to lead anyone to their fitness goals, whether you are training to improve your quality of life or to increase performance in a specific sport. Everyone should have a fitness assessment prior to an exercise program. The assessment will determine the optimal starting point for your program and is a great tool to measure the gains you have made during you program. When you are able to quantify the improvements you have made this will motivate you to continue to set and reach loftier goals. Your training should continually progress eventually landing you in the free weight area. Nothing burns calories like resistance training both during the work out and during the recovery days that follow. Additionally, it’s my goal to educate you on fitness, I will explain what and why we are doing certain exercises, the effects and why it is beneficial for the body. Your body will thank you each and every day by feeling better with a tremendous amount of energy.

    And his experience:

    • 7 Years Personal Trainer
    • Cancer Survivor exercise development
    • 20 years military training
    • Wrote and monitored physical fitness programs for military units specifically to enhance combat effectiveness

    Now go back and read that last bullet…


    I’m hoping he’ll teach me some cool MacGyver move where I paralyze someone with a shoelace and a small towel.

    He explained to me about not needing to do Cardio everyday. My running was probably going to be sufficient (less elliptical – even though I love it. I think I love it because of the t.v. that is attached to the machine – cause seriously who doesn’t love watching Law & Order while ellipticalling) (did I just make that word up – ellipticalling?) (am I using too many parenthesis?)

    He explained to me about weight training to burn more calories. “Damaging” the muscles so that you burn more calories while healing. Ooooooooh. I have no idea what any of this means, but it makes sense.

    He was impressed with my 3 month progress and pleased to hear my commitment. I was honest with him about my goals (70 pounds left to lose, working toward 5k, 10k, half marathon, marathon, triathlon, ironman, taking over the world). He understood my absolute ineptitude for what I’m about to embark on and while he wanted to get right down to business I told him I was a slow and steady kind of gal.

    He showed me two weight bearing machines. Not the kind with counter weights but the kind you actually put free weights onto. Nothing major, just sit and have a look see. Push here, pull here…

    Even without the weights it was harder than I thought.

    I may be able to run for 30 minutes, swim 50 laps and go 45 minutes on the elliptical but I couldn’t go 2 minutes on those weight machines. This is going to be cool as all get out!

    Our hour came and went. I made my first “real” appointment for next Tuesday at 6:30am. As we parted way, he patted me on the back and said “prepare to be sore”.

    If only he knew how long I’ve been waiting to here that…


    A few things to point out here before I close for the night and catch up on all the wonderful bloggers and CKers that keep me determined to fight this fight.

    • I’m about to begin another category: 229-220. I don’t know when I’m going to hit the 220’s but this morning when I got on the scale it said 229. Since I don’t do official weigh in until Saturday I am only taking this number at face value. But it sure is a pretty number.
    • I’m going to start recording my total mileage run starting today. I’m also going to count swim laps cause swimming is pretty hardcore. RAWR.
    • I’ve got some new guns starting to show themselves. Not guns, like colt 45 or 30 aught 6 (how’s that for gun speak? I blame Blake Shelton’s “Hillbilly Bone”), I’m talking about biceps…Woot Woot Baby!

    That’s all there is for today folks. I’ll be taking a pass on breaking a sweat tomorrow. I’ve worked a seriously long day today and there is too much construction on the interstate to get me home at a decent hour (I started work this morning at 8. Will finish at 11p. Word on the street my normal 30 minute commute is taking about 90 minutes with road closures). Saturday is my first official “non c25k” run day. Sunday I’m ellipticalling/swimming laps and sending out positive vibes to my movemates!

    Did I just make up another word: Movemates???

    Will you be my movemate?

    So much to say…so little blog time.

    31 03 2010

    I wanted to come here today and talk about my date with Superman.

    I wanted to come here today and talk about how tomorrow is going to possibly be my official graduation from c25k.

    I wanted to come here today and talk about resting heart rate (mine is 60) and blood pressures (112/70). I wanted to talk about how there numbers are astounding me since I’m obese and an ex-smoker.

    I wanted to talk about a lot of things today.

    But something important needs to be said today and it needs to said to you.

    Yes you.

    If you’re reading this, then what I’m about to say includes you.

    If I could magically line you up, give you a hug, look you in the eyes and give you a personal thank you, I would. I hope this post will do me justice. When I started out on the LCJ (life changing journey),  a short three months ago, it was very much a decision I made alone.

    I was scared.

    I was doubtful.

    I didn’t trust myself.

    I didn’t know where to begin.

    Then this amazing thing started to happen. I started to meet other people. People from Calorieking. People who have blogs. People in real life. People who have had a significant amount of weight loss. People just starting out. People close to their goals. People so far away from their goals they feel helpless. People losing weight every week. People gaining weight. People who are frustrated. People who are getting it done. In all of you  I look  for guidance and words of encouragement and you give it freely, without hesitation. You are teaching me to pass on this information with the same care and patience.

    This week, I’ve had some pretty humbling encounters with you. Maybe you left me a comment, or sent me a text. Maybe you shared something personal. Maybe you’ve lost a lot of weight and said “Keep going, you can do this”. Maybe you’ve been running for a long time and said “I remember starting my c25k and I just ran a marathon”. Maybe you said “Tara, can I walk down the stairs with you” Hell, maybe you just “liked” my facebook status.

    In case you’re wondering, everything you do helps me to stay encouraged. Determined. Successful. Ever wonder if what you say or do is affecting other people?

    It is.

    Thank you for everything you do.

    Thanks for believing in me until I could start to believe in myself.

    Thanks for sharing your life  and for allowing me to share mine with you.

    What a great experience this has been and is going to be!!!!!

    Two 30 minute runs: A comparison.

    30 03 2010

    As most of you know I am finishing up my c25k program this week. I have one more session…

    One more.

    Then I’m on my own to figure out where I want to take this whole running thing. I’m a little nervous that once the program is over I’ll lose my drive to continue.  There are other running programs out there 5k-8k and 5k-10k that I’ll probably download to my trusty little shuffle and give it a go. With that being said I have run the 30 minute portion twice. Once outside. Once on the treadmill. Now a comparison.


    There is something to be said about knowing you’re coming down the pike to a finish that makes you look forward to doing something that is physically challenging. My first attempt was last Saturday. I decided to go out by where the gym was so that I could run and then meet with Kent (The trainer) afterwards (From here on out I’m going to call Kent “Superman” cause he’s built like Clark Kent on the outside but you just know there is something spectacular inside).

    This was a run that was not very well planned out. I didn’t know how far I could get in 30 minutes, if there was a round about circular path I should follow that would put me close to the starting point, or what the traffic would be like on an early Saturday morning. I just started out and hoped for the best.

    I got the best I could have hoped for. Too early for traffic so no problem there. I quickly figured out the best route to take so that even if I passed my original starting point I could easily fill in the rest of the time without going to far. What I didn’t think about were the two hills that I would encounter. One in the middle of my run and one at the very end. 4 weeks ago I would have dreaded those hills. Sunday I looked forward to conquering them. Both times I told myself I didn’t care how slow I took them but they had to be taken at a run, not a walk and without stopping. Both times were a success.

    It was a slow run.

    I didn’t care.

    I ran up two hills.

    The treadmill:

    On Monday I woke up to find a torrential down pour happening in my city.  Not the kind of rain that you muster up the determination to just get out and do it. This was the kind of rain that 10 feet from my house I would be soaked  and it would make for an awful running experience, not to mention it was the first day of  going back to work at the community college and time was not on my side.

    So I did the only thing I could think off.

    I took my run to the gym.

    And this is what I thought of it:

    It pretty much sucked. I tried my best to not watch the time and at one point even put a towel over it to cover the damn thing. Unfortunately my running is so haphazard that I vibrated it off and it fell on the belt, under my feet and then landed behind me.


    I kept grabbing the bar and then quickly shaking a mental finger at myself to let go. The treadmills are in front of a long ass mirror and I kept watching myself. One thing fat people shouldn’t do is watch themselves in the mirror. It leads to stinkin thinking:

    “That person next to you looks so much better”

    “Seriously, you’re never going to be a runner”

    “You don’t look like you’ve lost 30 pounds”

    “Are your legs rubbing together…gross”

    “All that sweat is disgusting”

    “Look at how fat you look”

    “You’ll never run that 5k”

    “Give up already”

    “You suck”



    You get the picture.

    Not to mention “snot rockets” don’t work well while running indoors.

    The only good thing about the treadmill experience is that the last minute I pushed myself and got the speed up to 4.5 and didn’t fall off like the towel did 25 minutes early.

    So there you have folks, treadmill running is not for me.

    Tomorrow would officially be my last day to run the c25k program but I’m going to postpone it until Thursday. I really want my last session to be outside and the Wappler Doppler says it’s going to be another bucket tipping downpour.


    So instead I’ll be meeting with Superman tomorrow. It will be the first of two free sessions and if he gives me what I’m looking for (which I have yet to figure out) then this could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship. I mean seriously, who doesn’t want to be a part of this 100+ weight loss life changing journey?

    Don’t you?

    Weigh in #13 (or what I like to call “Just when you think you didn’t”)

    27 03 2010

    Up bright and early today.

    So much to do.

    So few hours to do them.

    • Walk the dogs
    • Run the first day day of c25k week 9 (30 minutes)
    • Get to gym for first training
    • Work out (this is yet decided)
    • Head down south to Chehalis to help my husband cater a wedding

    Oh yes and Weigh in…

    This has been the strangest week as far as what the scale is giving me in numbers. Up, down, up, down, up down. I resolved myself to not being freaked out. Give me a gain, fine. Stay the same, fine. Give me a loss, fine.

    This is more about numbers now.

    This is about challenging myself to move more and eat less.

    To run 2 minutes longer.

    To swim an extra lap.

    To go an extra 30 seconds on elliptical.

    To become the person I’ve always wanted to be and never had the determination to get there.

    This week I was ready for anything.

    I got a loss:

    I’m almost without words to describe what this number means to me. I have officially crossed over the -30 pounds mark. There was so much tweaking this week with calories, workouts and sleep I thought for sure I’d see a little bit of a gain or nothing at all.

    I was not expecting a -2.0 loss.

    This week has been filled with so many positive movements forward in this lifestyle changing journey that to get a number like today is just about the bees knees!

    So here are the numbers:

  • Week 0 = 263.5 (-0.0)
  • Week 1 = 257.4 (-6.1)
  • Week 2 = 255.0 (-2.4)
  • Week 3 = 254.6 (-.4)
  • Week 4 = 253.8 (-.8) *I started c25k
  • Week 5 = 248.2 (-5.6)
  • Week 6 = 247.2 (-1.0)
  • Week 7 = 246.2 (-1.0)
  • Week 8 = 244.4 (-1.8)
  • Week 9 = 241.0 (-3.4)
  • Week 10 = 240.6  (-.4)
  • Week 11 = 238.0 (-2.6)
  • Week 12 = 234.8 (-3.2)
  • Week 13 = 232.8 (-2.0)

  • Meet my newest friends: Deltoid and Gastrocnemius

    24 03 2010

    In case your as inept at the anatomy of the human body as I am, here is where I give you a little picture post about what I’m talking about.

    These little beauties are you Deltoids. Today they have made themselves known to me. It’s from the swimming I did yesterday (30 laps). I woke up with them sore and while I did have a fleeting moment of “I’ll just skip the swim today”, I swam with them sore today as well (40 laps) so you can bet they’ll be letting me know they’re still around tomorrow. I probably won’t be swimming at much as I am this week just because school starts up next Monday and I am slated to pick up quite a bit of work at the community college. I’m trying my best not to freak out (as I would normally do) because I am starting to feel overwhelmed by the amount of work I am taking on over the next 3 months. I’ll be working about 52 hours per week (Mon – Fri) until the early part of June. I’ve enjoyed the last 3 months of working 32 hours (Mon-Fri). It gave me time to get things in perspective. Time to figure out what this whole notion of “eat less, move more” meant. I had time to plan food and workouts. Time to walk the dogs, run, break a sweat, eat breakfast, get to work, spend time with my husband, get more than 7 hours and repeat all for 3 months. I saw just under 30 pounds disappear and now I’m wondering how I will do over the next 3 months…

    But I digress.

    As I almost always do.

    Let’s move on to my next newest friend: The Gastrocnemius

    Now before you go saying, “Geez Tara, everyone has calf muscles”, let me tell you why this little beauty is my newest friend. Before I started running just a mere 9 weeks ago it was distinctly one muscle (the outer muscle). 9 weeks later not only is the outer muscle stronger and more prominent, but now its sister muscle (inside calf muscle) is making an appearance. I’m developing a runner’s leg!!! Well not just one of course, both legs are developing into runner’s leg. Tomorrow is my last day at a 28 minute run. On Tuesday (yesterday) I ran 1.88 miles in 28 minutes. That’s about a 4.0 mph speed.  A little slower but also a little farther than last week. Tomorrow I’ll head back to the track to see if running on a flat surface, not having to worry about cars, and not needing to be mindful of changes in the pavement make a difference.

    4 sessions to go…


    Back to my digression…

    I’ve been trying to think of ways to make sure that I’m still moving more and eating less with a work schedule that is about to become a lot more worky and a lot less not-worky. My work days will begin with me leaving the house at 8a and getting home around 7:30p. Doing any sort of work out at night is going to be out of the question as this will really be the only time I can spend with my husband (who is out of the house by 5:30a and in bed by 9p). So I’m looking to do my move more part in the mornings. I will have about 2.5 – 3 hours to get what I’m used to doing in 5-6 hours done. This means shorter dog walks, shorter workouts and faster breakfasts.

    On days that I’m running, I will probably do it at the track at school or at least in the vicinity. Parking at the school before my run will ensure me two things: A) I get a great parking spot (which at times can get a little hairy) and B) I can shower on campus and then walk to my first class. If I’m on the track by 7am, I can walk the dogs and eat breakfast with relative ease.

    On non run days I would like to at least get an hour’s worth of time at the gym. I’ll need to be there about 6:30 to ensure time for workout/shower and leaving with enough time to get to campus.

    (Sorry I just need to think this through, I know this is the boring part of my post)

    It’s all feasible if I micromanage. Also there are some pretty kick ass classes being taught at the gym super early if I’m so motivated to go first and then go home to shower.

    Anyway, all this craziness starts on Monday!


    I had a 700 calorie workout today.

    I’d high five myself but my shoulders hurt and can’t really lift them up above my mid-section. This brings up an interesting point for me. When I started on this weight loss I was all about calorie intake and no exercise. It was easy to maintain my 1500 calories day in and day out. When I did introduce exercise it was in small amounts (100 – 200 calories burned) and was able to eat back those calories without a problem. Now I’m stepping it up a bit and it’s getting a little difficult to maintain a net calorie intake of 1500 when I have to have a gross intake of 2100-2200. I’ve never been a big eater.  I’m the clean plate kid but if you don’t fill up too much of my plate to begin with I’m good to go.  I’m finding that I’m forcing myself to eat more just to keep within that range of net calories. Yesterday I had a 350 calorie breakfast (it would have been more if I had my usual oatmeal but I went with egg whites and veggies instead), and a 700 calorie lunch. My snacking is way down to almost non existent (which is pretty rad!) so by the time I got home I still had 1000+ calories to work with. We had Papa Murphy’s and I ate an entire salad (with very little dressing) and 4/10 of a pizza just to make it to my calorie goal. After all was said and done my dinner was 1044 calories.

    I didn’t want to keep eating but I also didn’t want to go below the 1500 calorie mark. I’m in a similar position today. 500 calorie breakfast, 500 calorie lunch and if I’m to eat back all my work out calories I’m left with 1100 calories for dinner. The menu? Fish and cous cous. Now I don’t know about you but I just can’t eat that much fish and while I do love cous cous…I don’t love it that much.

    In the beginning I was eating too much food…

    Now I can’t seem to eat enough.

    With that being said, I’m going to stop tracking all my work out calories. This journey is supposed to be about listening to my body and eating when I’m hungry. It’s about not eating when I’m bored, sad, emotional or driving. Forcing myself to eat when I’m not hungry any longer is self-defeating.

    The good news to all of this is I can now start to incorporate some higher caloric foods that I’ve been cutting out…breads for one thing. I’ve been eating the sandwich thins. I like them but I miss my 12 grain breads…I miss Dave’s Killer Bread (which btw if you haven’t tried, shame on you). Plus I want to eat a real omelet.

    And I’d like some sour cream on my next soft taco!