A little Thanks and a lot of Love!

16 11 2010

My journey didn’t start back in December when I decided to get up, move forward and take control of my life. It started back when I began reading Tyler’s blog over at 344pounds sometime during the September before. I’m not sure how my Google reader came about to suggest that I start reading his blog. I wasn’t really reading stuff on weight loss at the time but Google reader suggested it and I followed its recommendation. He began to speak directly to me without even knowing he was doing it. Three months later I found myself beginning my own journey to lose 100 pounds. I would comment here and there on his stuff, not really knowing how this blogging world worked but eventually I took the plunge and started my own blog. In the beginning I felt alone and unsure that I could even lose 10 pounds. I didn’t have a blogroll and I certainly didn’t know a single soul doing what I was about to start.

I began to search for other weight loss blogs. Eventually I found people just like me. People wanting to lose weight and do it right. People wanting to take control of their lives; fighting to become not only healthy in body but also healthy in spirit and mind. People who understood me. Some of those people were way ahead the game. Giving me the necessary support to keep moving. Most of them were just starting out, like me. We banded together and off we went down a path that would change our lives forever.

The reason I’m saying all of this today is because I don’t know where you are on this journey. Maybe your way ahead of the game. Maybe you’re just starting out. Maybe google reader suggested you read  my blog today and something inside of you is telling now is the time.

Reach out.

Know that you are not alone. We understand. Even if you think we don’t. We do. We know what’s like to cry and be mad at ourselves. We know what it’s like to move the scale around on the floor in hopes that it will give us a different number. We know what it’s like to look down at the apple we’re about to eat and secretly wish it was a ginormous chocolate chip cookie. We know what it’s like to see someone running outside and pray that someday that might be us. We know what it’s like to get so close to a goal only to have it slip away for another day.

We know.

We also know what it’s like to cross finish lines, enter Onederland and put on a size 34 pair of pants for the first time since middle school. My friends (and I consider anyone that has been a part of my journey my friend) are there for me everyday when I can’t be there for myself. We’ve weaved our lives together through blogging, facebook, twitter and even eventually being able to meet in real life to become friends that hug after races as we cheer each other on to run like the wind toward the finish line and to cross it with a smile. These people are my lifeline. I may not know them personally because we’ve never met face to face…

But I know them.

We have cried together. Laughed together. Lost and gained weight together. We’ve stopped binges together and planned meals together. We’ve shared intimate details of our journeys together. We’ve opened the door to Onederland together and shut the door to our past together. We’ve celebrated the Non Scale Victories together and put a hand on the shoulder of someone ready to give up together. I am grateful for all that they have given me. I am grateful for all that I have given them. A path can be scary when you feel alone and unsure which direction to take. When you grab the hand of a friend, its just that much easier. So today I write a simple thank you to some of those friends that have been with me since the beginning. I’m not going to link their blog or tell you to go friend them on twitter, that’s not the point. The point of this post is to tell you reach out and band together. Support and love one another as you take on this Life Changing Journey. It’s scary, it’s hard and it is worth every step.

Val

Sharla

Brandon

Molly

Vinny

Michael

Tyler

Jess

Seth

Jeremy

Kelly

Rachel

Bobbie

Meegan

Ed

Robby

Aliza

Sheetal

Thank you.





One mile madness / Tractor Tires / Fog is clearing

11 05 2010

In anticipation of meeting with Superman today, forging a summer long training schedule and being pushed to a sweaty mess of muscle soreness, I woke up with a lot of anxiety . I decided that my one mile run was going to be faster today than it was last week which meant I was going to need to come out under 12:00 minutes.

I don’t know how your math skills are or your time keeping for that matter but in order for my mile to be better than 12:00 I was going to need to see an 11 on the machine when I was finished. 11 can be a very intimidating number only because I knew I’d have to keep the speed at nothing less than 5.1 mph if I wanted it to happen.

I wanted it to happen bad!

I started at 5.o mph and slowly but surely bumped it up little by little. I got so far as 5.4 for a bit. I like the speed. It feels natural. I wish I could keep the pace but after about 5 minutes I had to bump it down to 4.7 and stay there for a while. At 8 minutes I slowly moved my way back up to 5.2 and there I stayed. At about 10 minutes I had to make a decision. This pace would put me over the 12 minute mark (still an excellent time) but it’s not what I wanted. Under 12 would jump start my workout with Superman and push me forward back into the frame of mind I lost last weekend. I needed to force myself back to that fighter mentality…

I needed my mojo.

At the .90 mile mark I pushed.

5.5 mph.

5.8 mph.

6.0 mph

6.3 mph.

It was amazing. I was running at 6.3 mph and it wasn’t killing me (at least not too much). Granted I only ran at that speed for a minute but when you start from nothing and 4 months later you’re running at 6.3 mph, it was FREAKING AMAZING! I crossed the one mile mark and looked at the time..

11:55

HELL YES!

I had a few minutes before Superman so I ran to see if there were any messages from work. There was a message but not from work. It was Superman. He had to cancel our session today. Dammit all to hell! But hey I ran a 11:55 mile and had some time to kill so I swam laps.

100 of them to be exact.

That’s what I like to call an awesome workout. I highly suggest you get yourself one real soon. It can help jump start your morning, your day and even your life…

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I’ve been talking about these bad boys for a while now and finally got around to taking some pictures. They are my new best friends. There is a third but I won’t show it’s beautiful tire-goodness until I can flip that bitch!

It might be a while.

I’m gonna call this little guy “Baby Bear”. It’s the smallest of the three but still fairly large as you can tell by my backpack. I needed something to compare sizes. That’s a huge backpack and it is stuffed full of all my stinky work out clothes from running my mile today…oh and in case you missed it I ran that mile in 11:55 FREAKING AWESOME MINUTES!!! Baby Bear isn’t too bad to move but after 200 feet the return trip can be a doozie!

Of course this is “Mama Bear” (You see where I’m going with this right?). She is sooooo freaking heavy. The first time I tried I couldn’t even get my hands under it (but moving baby bear 200 feet and back might have had something do with that). I wasn’t about to be defeated so on a non-Superman day I went out there and flipped her once. Just once but it was cool. I kind of felt like one of those guys from the “worlds strongest man” competition (only their tires are 450 pounds…this one not so much). The next day Superman was so excited I went out there on my own he made me do it again…I flipped it 3 times! Watch out Strongman competition.

Better yet, watch out “Papa Bear”

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When one decides to swim 100 laps there is this little thing called “Time” that you have to reflect on life and the what-nots that come along with it. I mean you can only think about your shopping list and what bills need to be paid for so long.

I’m feeling much more clear headed these days. I’ve had a few setbacks emotionally what with the news that my brother is refusing to get help but I really have come to a place in my life that I truly understand those are his actions and his alone to live.  I realize I am upset/sad at his situation because it is not what I chose when I was in his shoes. I can’t put that on him.

It’s not fair for the both of us.

As I swam those 100 laps I  said a quiet thank-you to the universe for giving me the opportunity to become human again. I thanked my past for all the hardships that brought me to where I was this morning. I thanked my body for working hard to lose 100+ pounds. I thanked my mind for staying in the moment.

I thanked Superman for not showing up today.

 





So much to say…so little blog time.

31 03 2010

I wanted to come here today and talk about my date with Superman.

I wanted to come here today and talk about how tomorrow is going to possibly be my official graduation from c25k.

I wanted to come here today and talk about resting heart rate (mine is 60) and blood pressures (112/70). I wanted to talk about how there numbers are astounding me since I’m obese and an ex-smoker.

I wanted to talk about a lot of things today.

But something important needs to be said today and it needs to said to you.

Yes you.

If you’re reading this, then what I’m about to say includes you.

If I could magically line you up, give you a hug, look you in the eyes and give you a personal thank you, I would. I hope this post will do me justice. When I started out on the LCJ (life changing journey),  a short three months ago, it was very much a decision I made alone.

I was scared.

I was doubtful.

I didn’t trust myself.

I didn’t know where to begin.

Then this amazing thing started to happen. I started to meet other people. People from Calorieking. People who have blogs. People in real life. People who have had a significant amount of weight loss. People just starting out. People close to their goals. People so far away from their goals they feel helpless. People losing weight every week. People gaining weight. People who are frustrated. People who are getting it done. In all of you  I look  for guidance and words of encouragement and you give it freely, without hesitation. You are teaching me to pass on this information with the same care and patience.

This week, I’ve had some pretty humbling encounters with you. Maybe you left me a comment, or sent me a text. Maybe you shared something personal. Maybe you’ve lost a lot of weight and said “Keep going, you can do this”. Maybe you’ve been running for a long time and said “I remember starting my c25k and I just ran a marathon”. Maybe you said “Tara, can I walk down the stairs with you” Hell, maybe you just “liked” my facebook status.

In case you’re wondering, everything you do helps me to stay encouraged. Determined. Successful. Ever wonder if what you say or do is affecting other people?

It is.

Thank you for everything you do.

Thanks for believing in me until I could start to believe in myself.

Thanks for sharing your life  and for allowing me to share mine with you.

What a great experience this has been and is going to be!!!!!