Wonder if what you say helps / Forging relationships / Revisiting an old enemy

22 04 2010

Gah, I so need to catch up on blogs. So much is happening to everyone out there. Struggles and triumphs. Losses and gains. Frustrations and exhilaration. At the same time there is so much happening to me over here as well.

I’m taking another day to post because 3 really kick ass things happened to me yesterday / today and I just want to sit with all their goodness for a few moments before I move on to catching up with everyone out there.

Kick ass something #1

I’ve been a pretty avid follower of Jen (Prior Fat Girl) since I started this LCJ 4 months ago. Unfortunately I am one of the unlucky ones that can’t access her blog anymore due to some mystical creature sprinkling evil “Access Denied” dust on her website. I can access it through my phone but its rather tedious and does not make for safe driving conditions as the only free time I really have these days is in my car.

I miss reading her blogs on a daily basis.

She is one to definitely understand this just isn’t about losing weight but about facing fears and digging deep in the past to make room for a bright future. She puts her crap out there for the world to see and doesn’t really care who sees it. Her journey is hers alone and not for anyone but herself to work through. She is brutally honest with herself and in doing so has forged a path for the rest of us to walk along.

She does this really cool thing where she invites all us girls to take pictures of ourselves after working out. I have been sending her pictures of my running during the c25k program. You know the ones with my little signs stating how long I ran for.  Yesterday I was catching up with her blog and read how on Saturday she had completed a 5k. It was awesome looking at pictures of her crossing over that finish line. I can’t wait until that is me (June 12th). It just so happens however on Saturday I ran a personal best in distance (3.22) and sent her the following picture:

This was taken right after finishing. I’m crying and sweating and trying to get the salty sting out of my eyes.  I get home late last night, get my bag together for today’s gym date. I’m tired. I’m sore. I”m nervous about seeing Superman. I look down to plug in my phone for the night and there is the beacon of light I needed to get that motivation / determination back into my head.

Jen sent me an email.

I won’t go into details about what the email said but it was enough to stop me in my tracks, take a deep breath, read it 5 or 6 times and promptly push save so that I can read it again (and again).

It’s like the high school football quarterback throwing the pigskin around with the freshman during tryouts. I am the freshman and so many of you are the quarterback. Coming here and leaving me comment or taking the time to send me an email encouraging me to keep going has been a tremendous amount of help.  If I don’t say it enough, Thanks! What you provide to me now will be given out ten fold when I am the quarterback and the new freshmen on campus want to throw the football around.

_________________________________________________________

Kick ass something #2

After 3 weeks of working with Superman, an intense session with my therapist yesterday and a talk with my husband, I’ve decided to go ahead and commit to seeing a trainer 2 x week.  Seems silly that I would need a therapist to help me get to this decision but it goes so much deeper than just making the decision.  For the first time in my life I finally feel there is enough self worth to stand up for what I need. Feeling that and knowing how to do it are two different things.  I didn’t need to convince my husband that I was worth it, I needed to convince myself.  I didn’t need to convince my husband that spending the money was okay, I had to convince myself.  I told him I felt guilty about spending the money to which he replied: “I never feel guilty, so I don’t want you too either”…

Sometimes the worst battles are the ones you’re having internally.

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Kick ass something #3

Speaking of Superman. I met with him today and it was pretty awesome. Today = upper body.  I got to work on this machine:

Minus the chair…I got the bouncy ball! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! He had to help me on a few things but I went to the end like a trooper. Then he took me into the boxing room! KICK ASS for sure. The boxing room has 12 bags (3 rows of 4). He strapped me up and said two full body swings into each bag. Oh man nothing to rile a girl up like being told to beat the crap out of some bags.  After that he had me start at bag 1, kick it’s ass, run to bag 12, kick it’s ass, run to bag 9, kick it’s ass, run to bag 4 kick it’s ass and repeat until he got tired.

Right, until HE got tired.

And then repeat the entire boxing process (each bag twice, then crisscross) . It was AWESOME! I think that Superman is warming up to me. I could be wrong but he did swear in front of me (I swear like a sailor and told him so in the beginning) while quoting a line in a movie so I’ll take that as a move in the positive direction. He’s very much a “all business” kind of guy. I’m an “all business” kind of girl so it’s a good match.

The very last thing we did…

That’s right, the dreaded brick wall. Last time I did this, it brought me to tears. Today, I was going to win this damn fight. However I’m full of anxiety because I’m remembering how it went last time.

The last time I did 6 knee pull ups (4/12)

Today I did 15 (4/22).

You lose brick wall, you lose!

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When you think you can’t…you must.

21 04 2010

It’s Wednesday.

I”m sore.

Almost unbearably sore.

I blame Superman and his idea of fun.

(It was kind of fun)

I’m having to will myself to walk down stairs.

My thighs are just about ready to revolt against me in this journey.

Yesterday I got on the elliptical for 60 minutes and sweated my ass off. Literally speaking of course but I’m pretty sure my ass is smaller. I actually stopped myself in a full length mirror at the gym and was like “Oh hey wait a minute, is that my butt?”

(the answer was yes!)

Today should have been a run day for me. As soon as I woke up I knew it wouldn’t be. I almost didn’t go to the gym because of my frustration level. I don’t like being sore and not being able to follow through with what I’ve planned. I don’t do well with change even something as simple as changing a routine at the gym.

I decide to give it a try and head to the gym. As soon as I start my warm up I know it’s a no go. However, I’m already at the gym so I have some options. All is not lost. I decide to head to the elliptical because I’m so frustrated that I need something to help me work through it.

I get to the 30 minute mark.

I am angry.

Angry that I’m overweight. Angry that a session with Superman has made me this sore. Angry that this journey is some serious hard work not only physically but emotionally as well. Angry that 40 years of unfavorable learned behavior won’t just undo itself in 4 months. Angry that this is a lifetime decision and while it’s a decision that will probably save my life, I never should have been at this crossroad in the beginning. I’m angry at my mother, my father, my brothers. I’m angry with myself. I want to get off the elliptical, throw a towel over my head, and scream like a 3 year old. I want to push the person next to me and provoke them into yelling at me just so I would have a good reason to clock them in the face. I want to break the mirror in front of me because the person looking back at me is weak, fat and unforgiving.

I did get off the elliptical.

I didn’t cover my face and scream like 3 year old. I smiled at the person next to me. I pointed to the person in the mirror and wiggled my finger for her to follow me.

I jumped on that treadmill and ran for a mile.

All is right in my world today.

How’s your world?





Pre OWiS week in review / 92 minute tally

16 04 2010

I’m going to try and make it a habit to post a week in review the night before my OWiS. I think it’s important to remember this journey is no longer about numbers (though them moving in the right direction is always an added bonus).

  • It’s about taking control of my life and becoming the woman I was meant to be.
  • It’s about taking my body to a whole new level.
  • It’s about working through the past to get to my future.
  • It’s about feeling frustrated and  pushing through it to succeed.
  • It’s about using the towel to wipe the dripping pouring sweat off my face and not about throwing it in and giving up.
  • It’s about becoming a Runner, a Swimmer, an Athlete.
  • It’s about making Optimus Prime Proud!

With that in mind, tomorrow is OWiS #16. I have had an incredible week of ups and downs, frustrations and successes, laughs and tears…oh man the tears this week! I hit a brick wall and then tore it down. I picked up two new mantras and I put some more steel in my steel toed shoes for my ass kickin, name taking journey.

Here are the highlights:

Sunday – I ran my first ever 3.1 miles (with some walking intervals). It was difficult and afterwards I cried like a baby. Then I swam for a mile as a reward.

Monday – I met with Superman. I hit the proverbial brick wall. I also discovered that I’m about to climb the biggest mountain of my life. I cried like a baby and felt sorry for myself.

Tuesday – I swam for a mile, thanked Superman for the session (and opening up my eyes) and picked up two new mantra’s. Feel free to use them.

Wednesday – I ran on the treadmill at a new speed of 4.3. I didn’t grab the bar once. I ran strong, I looked strong and I felt strong. I also discovered some new muscles….ouch!

Thursday – An hour with Superman and a new found hate love for inclined sit-ups and a green weighted ball. I didn’t really blog about it too much because I was focused on Ed and his 92 minute work out challenge.

Friday (Today) – I hit that elliptical hard this morning (keep reading). 92 minutes!! And because I love myself, I swam for 45 minutes afterwards.

Now whether the scale will move for me tomorrow or not, doesn’t seem like such a big deal…

_____________________________________________________________

Today was my day to match Ed and his 92 minute work out pledge. It was hard as hell and I have a new-found respect for people who get on that thing day in and day out for hours and hours. I’m not as Rico Suave as he was with all his fancy picture-taking (actually his wife did all the work, he just got on the elliptical). I did however manage to take a few pictures as proof of all my perseverance:

Just Starting out (Min 1).

Minute 30 and all kinds of sweaty already.

Minute 60 and I am pooped.

Seriously pooped.

92 minutes later…

I recruited some of my friends to join me. Sheetal, Jessica, Amy, Kelso, Jan, Dawn and Deb from Calorie King all did 92 minutes of sweating. Josie, Jord, Vinny, Amber, Seth and even Ed (who started this whole thing) pledged to move for 92 minutes…

Let’s calculate this: 15 x 92 = 1380 minutes = 23 hours worth of sweat! Almost an entire day!!! Fantastic!!

Time to close this post and let the numbers speak tomorrow. Regardless of what happens I kicked ass this week and to treat myself, I’m getting a massage and a hair cut tomorrow!

Oh and let me leave you with one more picture comparison, in case you’re wondering if what you’re doing is worth it:

This was me at the end of December 2009

This is me today April 16th 2010

And this my friends is why I move, sweat, cry, scream, laugh, and ask myself WWOPD!





3.1 / Superman / emotional gunk…

12 04 2010

*Disclaimer – I am extremely emotional today. It’s a combination of TOM and my morning session with Superman. That being said, what I write at the moment is just how I’m feeling. If I could crawl back into bed and cry myself a river of waaaa waaaa waaaa’s I would. I can’t so I’m gonna write about here and see if I can get my shit together…

3.1

I started running at the end of January. I couldn’t run a block without wondering where the nearest hospital was so they could put my lung back or whether or not someone would get mad if I threw up on their manicured lawn.  Each time I ran I wondered if it would get easier or if I could go farther. I spent countless hours wondering how I was going to go 3 minutes without stopping.

Then it was 5 minutes…

Then 8 minutes…

20 minutes…

Until finally 10 weeks later I hit the 30 minute mark.

I had graduated the c25k program but I still hadn’t reached the 3.1 mile mark. I started with another running program that takes you from 5k to 8k not because I want to run a 8k (which I do) but because I wanted the longer music intervals to help me build up to 3.1 miles.

Last week I got all the way up to 2.81 miles. I thought I was going to throw up (and I almost did). I could feel that 3.1 mile mark just out of my reach. I needed to get there just so I can stop thinking about it. My first 5k isn’t slated until June 12th but I need to get past that distance now so it wouldn’t weigh so heavily on the back of my mind.

Sunday I woke up with a goal and that goal was reach 3.1 miles and run for most of it. I’m alright with running a certain amount of minutes and walking for one. This will probably be my usual practice once I find a comfortable pace and for now the podrunner program has me running for 8 minutes and walking for one.

I start…

It felt good to be outside running. It was early enough on a Sunday morning that my little city hadn’t even started to stir yet. I think I’m running faster this week than I was last week. I know I’m zoning off a lot more than I was before. There was nothing to think about until I came to the cool down portion of podrunner. The whole podcast lasts about 46 minutes and minus the warm up I had 41 minutes to run a 5k. I knew it wasn’t going to happen so I would have to really push myself to run during the cool down and if necessary keep going after the podcast was finished.

Cool down came and went and I was still running.

I was so close. I wanted to stop. I wanted to tell myself that maybe next week would be better. I could see the end ahead of me. Less than half a mile.  It wasn’t as close as I wanted it to be but at least I could see it. I’m frustrated. I walk for 30 seconds just to get my thoughts together and reconfirm why I’m doing this. I’m changing my life. I’m trying to be a healthier person. I don’t want to be fat any more. I don’t want to be 100 pounds over weight. I don’t want to sit in front of the computer for hours thinking about what could have been…I want to find out for myself.

I push through that last couple of blocks and before I know it I’m running past the point where I started 50 minutes earlier and know to be 3.1 miles. I run an extra block and then like usual break down and cry.

I had just run my first 5k. I don’t need to obsess about whether or not I’ll ever be able to run 3.1 miles before June 12th.

I did.

I can.

I will.

June 12th is a long time from now. There is plenty of time for improvement. 50 minutes is a long time (with 4 one minute walking intervals) to do a 5k. It’s a vast improvement over what I was doing 3 months ago (NOTHING!) and if I can do this now…

Superman

Today was date #2 with Superman. He took me through the weight machines this morning and all I can say is I’m going to be sore tomorrow. There are few times in my life when I encounter something that I can’t take head on and be victorious. Even in my weight loss journey thus far I’ve been very successful and in that gotten sort of cocky about what I have done in the past 3 months.

Today he brought me down a notch and didn’t even realize it.

I got there early to warm up before our appointment. Do you remember the star pupil in your classroom? The one who always had the best looking papers or who always went the extra mile just to please the teacher? Yhea that’s me…so warm up is done before we get started just so I can have the extra 5 minutes of training. I know how to get on the elliptical for 5 minutes by myself. I don’t know how to lose 100 pounds alone and that’s what I need him for.

He starts me off with leg presses. 45 pounds on each side…10 reps. Break. Add another 45 pound weight just to one side, repeat 10 reps. Break. Add additional 45 pound weight to other side, 10 reps.

I am already on the verge tears.

In the face of fear or something emotional I tend to use humor as a cover. So you can pretty much assume this session was a barrel of monkeys the way I was joking with him.  At one point he gives me a weight bar for bicep curls and I ask him how much they weigh:

Superman: “20 pounds

Me: “Okay next time tell me they weight 300 pounds so I can feel like a super hero”

He grabs the 30 pound weight bar:

Superman: “That 20 pound bar was too light, here take this 300 pound bar and show me what you got”

– you can see why I like this guy right?

Throughout the hour I am afraid I won’t be able to do what he asks me to do. I keep getting to the breaking point and I don’t hear him say “one more”. He must know what he’s doing because every time I feel like I’m going to drop whatever I’m holding he then gives me the “one more” and of course I can’t resist pushing back.

There were numerous times I was grateful that when he said “take a break” he walked away from me.  I needed that time to cover my face with my sweaty baseball cap and contemplate what the hell I was thinking.

And cry.

It hurt like hell today.

The last thing we did was this weird contraption:

It was this that put me over the edge.  I could do the sit ups, leg presses, calf presses, bicep curls, behind the head thingamajiggies…It hurt like hell. I wanted to throw up but I went until I heard him say “one more” and that’s just what I gave him.

This I couldn’t do.

I did the first three knee lifts and just about lost it. I had to beg myself to take my feet off the foot rest when he said “again”.

I did two more and had to put my feet up on the rest again. I know Superman knew I was trying my best. It was me I was fighting. He wasn’t disappointed. I was. He knows what lies ahead for me. I don’t. I just wanted the session to end because I hurt, I was embarrassed for being fat and I felt like all the hard work I’ve put into myself the last three months had just come to a screeching halt.

I had just hit a brick wall and I was not prepared.

He did say “one more” and I gave it to him. I even high fived him after we were done and said “Thank you Sir, see you on Thursday”. I went to the locker room and cried.

Mostly out of frustration.

I have come a long way. I’m doing things now that I haven’t done since high school. I’m doing things that I couldn’t even do in high school. Today’s lesson was that while I’ve come a long way, the road ahead is still very long.

It’s almost like that feeling of cresting a hill and thinking you’re at the top only to discover the mountain range in front of you. You’re too afraid to move forward but can’t go back down the hill because there is absolutely nothing there. That is where I am today and that’s why I’m writing about emotional gunk..

I seriously thought I had started ascending the mountain 3 months ago.

I had just crested a hill.

I’m not contemplating quitting or running out to my favorite Chinese restaurant and consuming a 3000 calorie meal. I’m not thinking about skipping a workout or only doing a half-assed job of it tomorrow. I’m going to swim tomorrow and swim like a damn dolphin. I’m not thinking “what’s the point” of all this. I know the point. I have a life to live and it does not include anything but moving in the right direction.

Superman humbled me today.

I am thankful.





The official graduation / Superman / and blah blah blah.

1 04 2010

It’s official.

I can now buy this beautiful shirt. I’ve worked nine long weeks to be able to say I can wear this shirt and know it to be true. I woke up early this morning with that “runner’s anticipation” in my stomach. That nervousness in the pit of your stomach that starts to wonder how far, how long and how in the world?

For a fleeting moment I prayed for another downpour. It was only fleeting. I wanted to do this run. I wanted to get outside before sun rise, pop in my earphones and let Robert Ullrey lull me into what would be my final run of the c25k program.

It was a little surreal, this run. Normally during my last run of the week, my mind wanders to what in store for me. For nine weeks I was focused on what coolrunnings thought I could do and would do. I constantly thought about whether or not I should repeat a week or just go and trust they knew what they were talking about.

I went with the trust factor.

They were right. Maybe not so much on the length portion. Today’s 30 minute run put me at about 2.25 miles, .85 miles short of 3.1. But they were right about the duration goal. If you had come to me nine weeks ago and said “Tara, you’re going to do this running program and in nine weeks you’re going to get up and run 2.25 miles without stopping“, I would have gaffawed at you. If I was drinking milk at the same time I would have accidentally spit it in your face at your unbelievable statement.

Not so unbelievable anymore.

This run, there was no thinking about what am I doing next week with coolrunnings. It was a little nerve wracking. Now what? You mean I have to do this on my own? Whose going to tell me when to run. Whose going to tell me when to stop?

Then I realized it was going to be me. I have the freedom now to figure out what exactly this running thing means to me. No more worrying about whether or not I’m going to be able to do a certain duration. No more freaking out about what’s coming up the next week, or the week after that.

Now I can just run.

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Superman

Yesterday was my first meeting with Kent the trainer. It was mostly just talking, getting to know one another. Actually it was more him crunching numbers to get my BMI, RHR and any other TLA he could find.

Oh you don’t know what TLA means?

Three Letter Acronym

A little digression – There are companies out that have committees that sit around thinking of TLA, thinking it makes life easier than saying the words each time. Seriously!

Wonder what my Superman looks like?

Here’s his philosophy (thank goodness for copy and paste): “I have the training and experience to lead anyone to their fitness goals, whether you are training to improve your quality of life or to increase performance in a specific sport. Everyone should have a fitness assessment prior to an exercise program. The assessment will determine the optimal starting point for your program and is a great tool to measure the gains you have made during you program. When you are able to quantify the improvements you have made this will motivate you to continue to set and reach loftier goals. Your training should continually progress eventually landing you in the free weight area. Nothing burns calories like resistance training both during the work out and during the recovery days that follow. Additionally, it’s my goal to educate you on fitness, I will explain what and why we are doing certain exercises, the effects and why it is beneficial for the body. Your body will thank you each and every day by feeling better with a tremendous amount of energy.

And his experience:

  • 7 Years Personal Trainer
  • Cancer Survivor exercise development
  • 20 years military training
  • Wrote and monitored physical fitness programs for military units specifically to enhance combat effectiveness

Now go back and read that last bullet…

COMBAT EFFECTIVENESS.

I’m hoping he’ll teach me some cool MacGyver move where I paralyze someone with a shoelace and a small towel.

He explained to me about not needing to do Cardio everyday. My running was probably going to be sufficient (less elliptical – even though I love it. I think I love it because of the t.v. that is attached to the machine – cause seriously who doesn’t love watching Law & Order while ellipticalling) (did I just make that word up – ellipticalling?) (am I using too many parenthesis?)

He explained to me about weight training to burn more calories. “Damaging” the muscles so that you burn more calories while healing. Ooooooooh. I have no idea what any of this means, but it makes sense.

He was impressed with my 3 month progress and pleased to hear my commitment. I was honest with him about my goals (70 pounds left to lose, working toward 5k, 10k, half marathon, marathon, triathlon, ironman, taking over the world). He understood my absolute ineptitude for what I’m about to embark on and while he wanted to get right down to business I told him I was a slow and steady kind of gal.

He showed me two weight bearing machines. Not the kind with counter weights but the kind you actually put free weights onto. Nothing major, just sit and have a look see. Push here, pull here…

Even without the weights it was harder than I thought.

I may be able to run for 30 minutes, swim 50 laps and go 45 minutes on the elliptical but I couldn’t go 2 minutes on those weight machines. This is going to be cool as all get out!

Our hour came and went. I made my first “real” appointment for next Tuesday at 6:30am. As we parted way, he patted me on the back and said “prepare to be sore”.

If only he knew how long I’ve been waiting to here that…

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A few things to point out here before I close for the night and catch up on all the wonderful bloggers and CKers that keep me determined to fight this fight.

  • I’m about to begin another category: 229-220. I don’t know when I’m going to hit the 220’s but this morning when I got on the scale it said 229. Since I don’t do official weigh in until Saturday I am only taking this number at face value. But it sure is a pretty number.
  • I’m going to start recording my total mileage run starting today. I’m also going to count swim laps cause swimming is pretty hardcore. RAWR.
  • I’ve got some new guns starting to show themselves. Not guns, like colt 45 or 30 aught 6 (how’s that for gun speak? I blame Blake Shelton’s “Hillbilly Bone”), I’m talking about biceps…Woot Woot Baby!

That’s all there is for today folks. I’ll be taking a pass on breaking a sweat tomorrow. I’ve worked a seriously long day today and there is too much construction on the interstate to get me home at a decent hour (I started work this morning at 8. Will finish at 11p. Word on the street my normal 30 minute commute is taking about 90 minutes with road closures). Saturday is my first official “non c25k” run day. Sunday I’m ellipticalling/swimming laps and sending out positive vibes to my movemates!

Did I just make up another word: Movemates???

Will you be my movemate?





Two 30 minute runs: A comparison.

30 03 2010

As most of you know I am finishing up my c25k program this week. I have one more session…

One more.

Then I’m on my own to figure out where I want to take this whole running thing. I’m a little nervous that once the program is over I’ll lose my drive to continue.  There are other running programs out there 5k-8k and 5k-10k that I’ll probably download to my trusty little shuffle and give it a go. With that being said I have run the 30 minute portion twice. Once outside. Once on the treadmill. Now a comparison.

Outside:

There is something to be said about knowing you’re coming down the pike to a finish that makes you look forward to doing something that is physically challenging. My first attempt was last Saturday. I decided to go out by where the gym was so that I could run and then meet with Kent (The trainer) afterwards (From here on out I’m going to call Kent “Superman” cause he’s built like Clark Kent on the outside but you just know there is something spectacular inside).

This was a run that was not very well planned out. I didn’t know how far I could get in 30 minutes, if there was a round about circular path I should follow that would put me close to the starting point, or what the traffic would be like on an early Saturday morning. I just started out and hoped for the best.

I got the best I could have hoped for. Too early for traffic so no problem there. I quickly figured out the best route to take so that even if I passed my original starting point I could easily fill in the rest of the time without going to far. What I didn’t think about were the two hills that I would encounter. One in the middle of my run and one at the very end. 4 weeks ago I would have dreaded those hills. Sunday I looked forward to conquering them. Both times I told myself I didn’t care how slow I took them but they had to be taken at a run, not a walk and without stopping. Both times were a success.

It was a slow run.

I didn’t care.

I ran up two hills.

The treadmill:

On Monday I woke up to find a torrential down pour happening in my city.  Not the kind of rain that you muster up the determination to just get out and do it. This was the kind of rain that 10 feet from my house I would be soaked  and it would make for an awful running experience, not to mention it was the first day of  going back to work at the community college and time was not on my side.

So I did the only thing I could think off.

I took my run to the gym.

And this is what I thought of it:

It pretty much sucked. I tried my best to not watch the time and at one point even put a towel over it to cover the damn thing. Unfortunately my running is so haphazard that I vibrated it off and it fell on the belt, under my feet and then landed behind me.

Grrrrrrr.

I kept grabbing the bar and then quickly shaking a mental finger at myself to let go. The treadmills are in front of a long ass mirror and I kept watching myself. One thing fat people shouldn’t do is watch themselves in the mirror. It leads to stinkin thinking:

“That person next to you looks so much better”

“Seriously, you’re never going to be a runner”

“You don’t look like you’ve lost 30 pounds”

“Are your legs rubbing together…gross”

“All that sweat is disgusting”

“Look at how fat you look”

“You’ll never run that 5k”

“Give up already”

“You suck”

“FATTY”

O_o

You get the picture.

Not to mention “snot rockets” don’t work well while running indoors.

The only good thing about the treadmill experience is that the last minute I pushed myself and got the speed up to 4.5 and didn’t fall off like the towel did 25 minutes early.

So there you have folks, treadmill running is not for me.

Tomorrow would officially be my last day to run the c25k program but I’m going to postpone it until Thursday. I really want my last session to be outside and the Wappler Doppler says it’s going to be another bucket tipping downpour.

Bummer.

So instead I’ll be meeting with Superman tomorrow. It will be the first of two free sessions and if he gives me what I’m looking for (which I have yet to figure out) then this could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship. I mean seriously, who doesn’t want to be a part of this 100+ weight loss life changing journey?

Don’t you?





Some weeks the journey isn’t only about weight loss…

26 03 2010

Tomorrow is weigh in #13 and one of three things will happen. Either I will 1) lose a small amount of weight – by small I mean under a pound 2) Stay exactly where I was from my last weigh in – 234.8 3) Have a small gain – hopefully under a pound.

I’m not expecting anything big tomorrow.

I’m not going to freak out if the number is a gain. I’m not going to freak out if the number stays the same. I’m not going to freak out if there isn’t a “big enough” loss.

I’ve taken a lot of steps in the right direction this week. I need to keep those up front in my mind as I weigh in tomorrow. I can’t get all caught up in the numbers or I’m going to lose focus on what I accomplished this week:

  • I joined a gym
  • I’ve consumed on average about 100 ounces of water everyday
  • I tackled the elliptical 3 times this week (10, 25 and 35 minutes)
  • I swam a total of 120 lengths = 1.7 miles
  • I ran 3 times for a total of 84 minutes / approx 5 miles
  • I had a successful shopping experience and came out with a cute pair of jeans that are 4 sizes smaller than what I was wearing.

By the end of tomorrow I will be able to also add the following as my accomplishments this week:

  • I will have run 30 minutes non stop and begin my last week of c25k.
  • I will have met with trainer at gym and hopefully begin a long lasting relationship with Kent (that’s his name…he’s going to be my Superman!).

If this was only about weight loss I’d be disappointed by the numbers that I will or won’t see tomorrow. But since this is about a life changing journey, I’d say I’m coming out on top!