Friends / Fears / New Girlfriend

6 08 2010

I have some pretty amazing friends. Many of whom I’ve never laid eyes on. We all share one thing in common: Fighting for our lives to regain control of our bodies. When I first starting blogging this journey back in February I was clueless about how large the online community  was and immediately connected with people who not only understood what I was going through but listened to what I had to say as well.

I’d like to take a few moments to just relish in the awesometasticness of these people.

Not too long ago, I announced I would be running the Amica Half Marathon November 28th with Team in Training. In order to do this I committed to raising $1800 for Leukemia Lymphoma Society. I have until September 13th to raise 25%  ($450) of that commitment at which time if I am not successful then I can bow out. I decided to give it my best shot for  the next six weeks. I won’t lie, I was a little intimidated by idea of raising that kind of money since I’ve never done something like this before. I don’t know the first thing about fundraising. I waited an extra week to put up my fund raising page because I just didn’t know where to get started.

My friends knew though…

July 31st, I put up my fund raising page.

Aug 1st first I had my 25%.

As of yesterday I have an astounding 47%.

I can’t even begin to try to explain how humbled I am by the readiness of my friends. Friends I’ve known for years; friends I’ve known for months. Friends I’ve wrapped my arms around in real life or shared a classroom/office; friends I can only hope to someday look them in the eyes and say thank you.

It is in my friends I find hope.

It is in my friends I find understanding.

It is in my friends I find the strength to move forward.

Tara’s Team in Training Page

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A bullet list of my fears!

  • The Trek Triathlon is just around the corner and I am starting to freak out a bit. My bike arrived yesterday (that’s my new girlfriend!) and tomorrow is my one and only open swim clinic. Six weeks seems like a life time away and at the same time like it’s going to be here sooner than I think.
  • I’m running out of training sessions with the Godfather. I have seven weeks left. Unless I win the lottery, the possibility of continuing is slim to none.
  • I’ve had a lot of fear around telling Superman that I didn’t want to continue training with him when he came back from his medical leave. That fear came to fruition today when he called me and said he’d been released to return work on Monday. He asked if I was ready to make an appointment and in that split instance I almost said yes. I took a deep breath and just honestly told him that I appreciated everything he did for me during our time together but that I was going to stay with Godfather. We made small talk after that but you could tell he was disappointed. At least I can check this fear off my list.
  • I have fears about not having enough work to get me through the summer. Classes end August 12th and that means that all my sub work will be done. School begins at the end of September. That puts first pay check at the middle of October.
  • I have fears about the direction I want to take my life.

I continue to move forward regardless of these fears that I feel constantly nagging at my conscious. I have moments where I am stuck in these fears but they are just moments. Better than the weeks they used to paralyze me mentally, emotionally and physically.

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Meet my new girlfriend

Peppermint Patty!

We’re going to be spending a lot of time together!

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9 responses

6 08 2010
jord

You do have some pretty awesome friends. Said as a totally impartial observer, of course. The end of summer quarter means plenty of time to pick a direction. Or do an open water swim with me. Only, not at Greenlake. I hate smelling like duck poop. Or even Monday morning training runs with me and Val. (HINT, HINT)

See you Sunday!

7 08 2010
263andcounting

Looks like I’m going to be driving to Seattle a lot! Hmm, I wonder if I can get used to taking Light rail?

6 08 2010
Rita @ The Giggly Bits

I like to throw poop at my friends. I covet your bike, madly, I do, my rodent eaten mountain bike is pitiful. And I didn’t know you were doing a tri! I’m so proud of you. it was the best thing I ever did I have no doubt you’ll feel the same. If you need any pointers let me know.

That’s entirely awesome TIT (hehe) stuff. Supportive people rule the world. So awesome.

7 08 2010
263andcounting

I wanted to get a shirt that said T.I.T but just too damn hard to find. You’d think someone would have come up with it by now. And as far as pointers: Send any information my way!!!!!

6 08 2010
Erin

I haven’t worked out with my trainer in a few weeks & I am not sure I will be able to continue with him for $ reasons. I dread the “where have you been?” text he is sure to send soon…

Love the new bike – her name is perfect!

7 08 2010
263andcounting

Thanks Erin! I’ve been dreading that phone call from superman for a long time. Glad it’s over.

6 08 2010
Debbi Does Dinner Healthy

I’m jealous of the girlfriend. Seriously. 6 weeks is not a lot of time but you’re doing awesome!! Keep it up!! I can’t wait to hear more about it!

7 08 2010
263andcounting

I’ve been preparing longer than 6 weeks its just now it’s SIX WEEKS AWAY!!!! Time to start adding some serious Bricks to this workout!

7 08 2010
seattlerunnergirl

Tara, you nailed it with this post. Here’s how:

– You named your fears.

– You acknowledged and accepted them, instead of trying to ignore or stuff them.

– You shared how you are moving forward in spite of them.

AMEN to have awesome friends, throwing poop, driving to Seattle, training runs, and living life on YOUR terms, not on fear’s!

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