Moving on and moving forward…

9 05 2010

I allowed myself 24 hours to be emotionally distraught over my first weight gain and today I’m ready to move on and move forward. Here are some things I know to be true about my life right now:

  • I do not weigh 263 pounds
  • I am not living the life of my brother
  • I am not sitting in front of the computer for hours and hours on end
  • I am moving more today than I ever have in my entire life
  • My muscles are getting stronger
  • I look forward to getting up in the morning
  • I am inspired by folks that have fought this war before me
  • I am inspiring folks that are just beginning to wage their own fight
  • I am emotionally stronger than ever
  • I am focused
  • I am looking forward
  • I am a runner
  • I will do whatever it physically takes to never go back to where I came.
  • I am in a better place today because I am learning to love who I am and what I can offer this world.

24 hours is over and it’s time to get back to this fight. Last week was chaotic and emotional but it does not dictate how I move forward. It does not dictate the dedication to my own life and becoming a stronger, faster, more emotionally stable person.  The experiences of my family members are not my experiences today. I know what it’s like to feel despair and depression. I know what it’s like to have to convince yourself to get out of bed only to return because you can’t function in the real world. I know what hopelessness feels like but not today…

NOT TODAY!

This morning I strapped my running shoes on and ran because I have hope.

I finally ran an entire 5k without stopping. NOT ONE STOP! I wanted to. I cried because I wanted to walk but today’s run was about moving on and moving forward. Running towards a new life and away from an old one. Running toward change and away from mediocracy. Running toward living life and away from emotional death. What my brother chooses will not deter me from my choices.

EVER!

_____________________________________________________________________________________

Superman called today and said the following: “Hey there favorite client of mine…just called to tell you to be prepared to get dirty tomorrow during our session“…I have the best.trainer.ever!

 

Advertisements

Actions

Information

21 responses

9 05 2010
Jess

HELL YEAH for running a full 5K without stopping! When is your race?

I’m glad you’re not letting the scale dictate what you do today and tomorrow. It isn’t who you are. You aren’t just some number. You are a human being. You are a runner (and I AM SO PROUD OF YOU FOR THINKING AND SAYING THAT). You are a wife. You are a swimmer. There are so many things that you are good at and the scale can’t show that either.

This gain is a triumph in my opinion. A huge, mental victory.

10 05 2010
263andcounting

If not a triumph then definitely a wake up call to push forward.

9 05 2010
Ed

Tara. You are awesome. You are MY hero!

10 05 2010
263andcounting

If we’re each other’s hero do we cancel each other out?

9 05 2010
Jaxs

Just wanted to say hello this time around, I peep your blog to see how things are going for you and as always I am never disappointed. You really inspire me and others who have the honor of tagging along on your journey.

Jaxs from CK

10 05 2010
263andcounting

Thanks Jaxs!

9 05 2010
Jenny

congrats on your amazing run and your amazing spirit! (by the way…I am one of those folks you are inspiring…and I truly appreciate your honesty and humor!)

10 05 2010
263andcounting

Thanks Jenny…any inspiration I can give is returned to me ten fold so thank you for helping me push forward!

9 05 2010
christine

I love that your trainer’s name is Superman. Pure awesomeness.

Don’t let the minor blip get you down. You’re making awesome progress. Remember it’s not a sprint but a long-distance race to the “final weight” finish line. You’ll get there.

Cheers,
christine
http://www.phoenixrevolution.net

10 05 2010
263andcounting

Thanks Christine! I get a kick every time he calls or sends me a text cause I’m like “Whoa, look Superman left me a message” Like I said before who doesn’t like getting calls/text from a superhero.

9 05 2010
Brandon

Tara, that’s so awesome, I am SO proud of you! And it’s great to see you focusing on all the positive things in your life, definitely a much healthier place for you to be!

10 05 2010
263andcounting

Way Healthier!

10 05 2010
Meegan

T – this post is full of awesome! I love Superman’s voice mail for you. Way to kick ass with your 5K solid! I’m so proud! Your list is the perfect way to kick start you week again. I’m cheering you on!

10 05 2010
263andcounting

does that cheering include pom poms?

10 05 2010
Tricia

great job focusing on the positive!

10 05 2010
263andcounting

Thanks Tricia…

10 05 2010
Georgia

GOOD FOR YOU! I do the same thing. Run. Because I can.
Keep your focus on the positive!

11 05 2010
263andcounting

Thanks for stopping by Georgia! I’m trying hard to remain positive! Nice blog by the way!

11 05 2010
seattlerunnergirl

YAHOO on running the 5K without stopping – that’s amazing!! Keep up the GREAT work! BTW, you’ve totally inspired me to try to run my fastest mile one day this week – I’ll let you know how it goes!

11 05 2010
263andcounting

Every morning I’m running one mile on the treadmill just for speed. I think it helped take off 3 minutes from my 5k, but don’t quote me on that.

14 05 2010
Week in Review / Pre walk jitters « 263 and counting

[…] Sunday – After allowing myself 24 hours of “Boo hoo” time I strapped on my Sauconys and finally accomplished something I’ve been trying to do for almost four months: I ran my first non-stop 5k! […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




%d bloggers like this: